hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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