thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
