I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
