Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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