do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
