Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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