sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
