I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
