Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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