You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
