Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
