My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
