no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
