yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
