D3 body, D1 cock
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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