Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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