He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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