you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
