I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
