I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
