how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
