i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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