Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
