I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
