and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
