Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
