so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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