Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
