a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
