Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
