i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
