If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
