My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He better not be in your backpack
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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