I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
foreskin is a definite game changer
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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