best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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