Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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