it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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