I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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