Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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