I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
