i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
