saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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