y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
