Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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