Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
