my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
