What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
