No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
