I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
