can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Damn victory sex feels great
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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