Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
