so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I understand Curling. That high.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
